Days we had in Hijiville

Midnight dream in a full moon night of winter

Thanks for the people who came to my party last nite and those who sent me message or email of love for my birthday, you all very sweet. I was very happy to hear my grandma voice last nite, saying happy birthday to me, which was the sweetest thing that happened in my birthday, and I wish she get well soon.

It was a fun night, some people put a lot of effort to make me drunk, but no one success. And they all got hangover today except me. I guess I have to admit that I am a hardcore alcoholic, the only problem was I been coughing since the crazy walk in the morning of my birthday.

Another dumb thing happened. I realised I left my key at home (AGAIN!) this morning and my legs hurt since a long walk to Kendra & Jesse's house. Luckily my landlady came back at night, so I went to my little bro Max's house and slept til my landlady called me back home.

Today I got a wicked present from Jackson, apparently he gave me a full box of Krispy Kreme donuts top with a Belle & Sebastian CD! Guess he really want me to become a fat arse, well I dun mind become one for the sake of KK donuts. Yummm... I'm licking the cream that sticked on the CD case, tasty...

P.S Special thanks for Dan DJing for me last nite, despite he was suffering in his flu.
P.S.S To who may concern, thanks for bringing happiness to me last nite.

[[audio: Razorlight - Stumble and fall]]

Dumbbbbbbbbbb....

This is the dumbest birthday ever in my life, that a simple careless mistake totally drove me from the top to the bottom. How could I be this terrible? I know I'm not smart, but never thought I could be so screwed up.... shitty dumb poo in the loo!

Sorry that the show didn't happen tonite, and it's all because my stupidity. I'm sorry for making all of you so disappointing. Thanks Jackson for being such a good mate, I promise will take him up to my show again and let him freestyle so good stuff.

I just think this is the most dumbest mistake I have ever made, I was very upset not because I couldn't do the show, but it's my responsibility as a presenter. I love this radio station and I almost destroy it by my own hands. The most ironic thing is that it happen in my birthday, which means turning 23 equal to getting dumber. Everyone in the station said happy birthday to me, but it just drove me to a worse emotion. Don't console me by saying I'm not dumb or whatsoever, the fact is in front of my face and I couldn't deny it, if I'm smart, this wouldn't be happened at all. I should dye my hair to blonde.

I walked home from Redfern by myself, I need to be alone and figure out how could I be such a dumbass. The walk helps indeed, the lesson is I know I walked to a wrong way and I turned back. (yes, I almost walked to Mosman...) I feel so much better after the walk, thanks for whoever still being so supportive, esp Mos and Jackki. I can't reject the word "Dumb" inside of me, it has been printed on the first page of my dictionary now, but I promise not to make the same mistake again.

P.S. I sincerely thank the person who filled in for me last nite, you mean so much to me. Otherwise I could have killed the radio station by coming up 2 hours fucking dead air.
P.S.S. Please dun hate me FBi.

[[audio: Belle & Sebastian - I fought in the war]]

Mental destruction...

Hey, happy birthday to Shalailah and Fean! I know it was yesterday, and I forgot to put it up... It's funny that Shai got online to MSN in China (pretty expensive indeed), and just told me that it's her birthday. Well baby, come back and I'll get trashed with you! Didn't see Fean recently, but still... it's her big day, and I bet she's having a hangover right now!

This morning I have Ben rocked up to my apartment, slapped me up from my sweet dream and grabbed me to Yum Cha. (Yum Cha means "drink tea" in chinese, we have Dim Sum for food, which means "bite-sized food".) For that moment I felt like back to Hong Kong again, which was amazing... I love Yum Cha.

This morning when Ben said I don't look like Chinese anymore, I was somehow in the middle of happy and sad. I hate being identified based on nationality, not because I don't like to be a Chinese, but I think it's just wrong to generalize myself as a Chinese and that's it. (Because some non-Chinese people are too dumb to understand there're different kinda Chinese people) What's sad is that, I love the culture of Chinese and I'm proud to be the "Dragon's posterity" (that's how Chinese call their generation.), and it seems like fading away in my life.

So I am here to give people some lessons about me and Chinese culture.

LESSON 1:

Fay is a Chinese who born in Hong Kong. Not from Japan, not from Korea, or whatsoever, but Hong Kong! (The most ridiculous one is someone had asked if I'm French... bless you) And Hong Kong is neither a city in Singapore, nor South Africa! (Don't Laugh, I seriously heard this from a friend of mine, which is funny but terribly sad...) It's in the southeast coast of Mainland China, colonized by Britian til 1997, now ruled by China but administrated by the local government, called "SAR".

LESSON 2:

Fay's mother tongue is Cantonese! (All the Honkies speak Cantonese) Not Japanese, not Mandarin! Although I know how to speak some, but for Christ sake, please stop saying MOSHI MOSHI in front of me, you are not even using it right, smartarse! (MOSHI MOSHI is the greeting word from Japan, which is used via phone ONLY!) I won't teach you Japanese unless you realised I'm not.

If you wanna say Hi to me, you are very welcome to speak English, or "Lei Ho". (Lei Ho means Hi in Cantonese, Lei = you; Ho = good) If you wanna say how are you, that would be "Lei Ho Ma?" (Ma is a question form of Cantonese, and people usually replied "Ho", that means good) My Cantonese lesson are always free as long as you wanna learn.

LESSON 3:

Fay doesn't eat DOG, dipshit! It's illegal to eat Dog in Hong Kong, and I love Dog. If you wanna eat those crazy animals, go to mainland China! They got Dogs, Cats, Possums, Snakes, and different kind of insects if you keen on.

CLASS DISMISS, go home and study.

Of course, if you have any questions, I'm always open arms to listen and help.

I'm happy to live without any nationality indeed, but seems this is somehting I can't avoid. I'm looking forward aliens to come, (if there's any, please come!) so I can identify myself as human, that sounds more make sense than calling myself as a Chinese, Asian, or whatever.

Ok, I gotta get ready for Allnighter, PEACE OUT.

[[audio: Audio Traffic - Don't Leave]]

Put your stupid feet back to the yellow line!

Many good and bad things been happening recently, which drives my emotion up and down. I guess I'm just a sentimental emo, in other words, most of the people may consider me as a nerd. woo.... where is my black square emo glasses?

I had a quite long talk with my mom on Sunday, and mostly what I concerned was my grandma at the moment, she finally told me that grandma has a tumour in her intestine, and we pretty sure that it's a cancer, the only thing we dunno is how bad is it now... This is certainly drove me to the bottom of my day, no matter how interesting is my life right now. The most terrible thing is i couldn't be there with her while she really wanna see me. I also feel bad for my mom, on the other hand, I think she is the strongest woman I have ever seen, not physically but mentally, I have fully respect to her.

Let's... back to something more cheerful.

Last nite, I went to see Belle & Sebastian, instead of Nation by the River. I feel so sorry that I wasted the double passes tht Stu gave me. (Please dun hate me Stu, B&S is such a wonderful scottish band, I'm so proud of your home country!) This is B&S first ever Australia live in Enmore Theatre, thanks Clare for giving me this ticket as my birthday present once again. The whole concert was very relaxing, partly because I have my own seat there, but mainly is the tender music style and it's light effects.

I missed a little bit from Architectures in Helsinki, but they were still very impressive. A 8 piece band with innovative intepretation of their music, well all I can say is they used many instruments and non-instruemntal objects to make their music, which is very interesting to watch and listen to.

When Belle & Sebastian came out, everyone (including me) was so excited since it's their first time touring in Australia. B&S always give out something touching to warm my heart and bring out my emotion, apparently I got tears came out as it was so beautiful to listen. It was like an ointment to relief all my complex emotions and all those negative thought, something incredibly comfortable and calm. For those who dunno how B&S sounds like, I think you can try to put Air, Travis and Beatles together. OH why dun you go and get a CD?

Next Allnighter show

I'll have my next Allnighter show in my birthday! woohoo!! Wed morning(1-3am) 94.5fm, and you are very welcome to call up for a request, or send me a email would do too. I'll have a guest as well, my funky hiphop master! anyway, stay tuned! (I'll have a break in August, so after this show, you won't be hear me on air til September...)

P.S. have fun in China Shai! miss ya.
P.S.S. Wanna see Touching the Void, tho Shai said it sounds like a porn film...
P.S.S.S. Thanks Shortie for the lovely postcard from Paris, be more artistic baby! muah!!

[[audio: The Killers - Somebody told me]]

MY ALLNIGHTER PLAYLIST THU 22JUL 3-6AM

Alphabetics - Loud & Clear
Moloko - 100%
Music vs Physic - post Op Alley Drop
Black Grass - Going Down
Secret Machines - Nowhere again
Blue Juice - Check out the bobos on superfreak
Good Buddha - Naturalogical
Phoenix - Everything is Everything
Aqua lung - Brighter than Sunshine
The Louisville Sluggers - Don't boss me
Katalyst - Uprocking
TZU - Summertime
Velure - What to do?
Lyrics Born - Pack Up
Koolism - Koolism is
Elbow - Not a Job
Lazy Susan - Clumsy (Falling Mix)
Placebo - This Picture
Jurassic 5 - What's Golden?
The Camels - Summer time
Bluebottle Kiss - Spiders in a Jar
Little Birdy - Relapse
Injettison - Time Goes By
Faultline - Your Love Means Everything
Kashmir - Rocket Brother
Hermitude - Higher Burner
Scribe - Stand Up
Bleepin' J. Squawkins - Paris Bag
Madlib - Stepping into Tomorrow
Resin Dogs - Gunshot Dub
The Roots - Sacrifice
Celcius - Bloodlines
Architects - We Vanish
The Null Set - All Day Sucker
Jimmy Eat World - No Sensitivity
Bias-B - Changin'
The Bird - Zindagi

My first time ROCKS!

My first time live on air presenting in FBi, this seriously means a lot to me. Thanks Tim Dean for being a good teacher to me, at least he helped me loosen my tongue. Hehe... I know I got togue disease while the beginning of the show, but it was all good. And what excited me is at the end of the show, there's a lady (Linda) called me, which is why I had 5 second dead air since she doesn't wanna hang up! That was the top, she made me to heaven! Here is the extract:

Linda "Hey thanks for doing the show, it was great!"
Fay "Oh Thanks for listening to me! Oh my god, this is so kool!"
Linda "Yea, I been listening to you in the Kitchen since 4am. I love the way you talk."
Fay "Geez, thanks! This really mean heaps to me!"
Linda "Oh you are amazing, I feel like... you are talking... to me!"
Fay "Thanks! I'm so glad you called, this is awesome!"
Linda "Yea, but why you rarely mention your name?"
Fay "Actually I did, but not much, I was too into playing my tracks, sorry about that! I'm Fay."
Linda "You are uncanny presenter Fay, when will you do the show again?"
Fay "haha... I screwed up alot indeed, but thanks for your support! I may play next wed."
Linda "Oh I hope to listen to your show again!"
Fay "Oh Linda, you are the first one call up and tell me you like my show, thanks so much"
....

I was so amazed! I've never be so happy like this before! Having a stranger called up for your first show and give you compliment! Allnighter presenters are not alone, we rule! I tried to find the CD that Linda request, but unfortunately she called me in the end of the show, I didn't have the chance to put it in my show, I tried to put it next time! It's Bob Dylan - Hurricane... And I promise will announce my name more, tho I don't think it's important. (I rather spend more time on playing my favourite music)  Bless you Linda.

Thanks for some of my friends who stayed up and listened to my show, yes I got your messages and email! and also those who couldn't listen to me, but still gimme a big support no matter where they are. You guys are amazing! love you all... OK, gotta sleep.

(FACT: I was thinking to sing as a Sydney based live performance if I ran out of track to play... LOL.)

Camping at FBi Radio Station... 

Today is such a big day to me.

Got up 7:30am to met my friend in uni for her appeal, messing around until 11:30am, it's all good in the end...

Then I straight up to the radio station, worked from 12:30 til 4:30pm. What's next is the Allnighter show from 3-6am, yes, in the morning... And I have to met Tim at 12 midnight for the show. I was thinking to head home for some sleep and back to the radio station at nite, but Shai doesn't allow me to do so, coz I take public transpot and it's very dangerous in Redfern at night.

What I did is stay at the radio station til my show, in other words, I'm staying there overnight. Unbelievable, I didn't sleep much indeed, since I have to make my playlist up to 40 tracks. I was abit panic as this is my first time doing presenter in FBi, and overnight isn't very fun... Imagine there's only you, in the empty radio station, at Redfern, in the middle of the night... ewww!

I kept calling people to kill some time, funny there're many numbers in my phone that I have never call out before. Well I called most of them in alphabetical order, usually to whose using optus prepaid or to whose I really rarely call. Some of them answered my phone with a surprised voice and some just ignore me (fair enough!).

I really miss my bed at home now. *sob*
If you haven't sleep yet, please give me a call or email me...
I need to have someone to stay with.

P.S. Thanks Clare for the early birthday greeting and the present.
        (Belle & Sebastian concert ticket on this Sat nite!!!! woohoo!!!!!)

[[audio: Architects - We Vanish]]

I lost the battle, and my eyes are perishing

I saw "Chiwawa" James in Myer awhile ago, (he doesn't actually look like a chiwawa, I gave him this nick is because he has a baby face, and I always wanna pinch it like a chiwawa) he looks so different (mature!! 19yo dude became 21yo, still young tho!) with that bizness shirt and the blue tie that he stole from someone. Anyway, we have some great talk about music and fashion, I guess I gone abit too harsh in critizing his fashion sense, sorry dude... actually I'm not.

Talking about music, we argued if Linkin Park's My December is in Hybrid Theory or not, this is crazy... I was very sure it's in Hybrid Theory, and I even take the bet that if I lost, I'll drink a shot whatever he makes. I learned a lesson today: When you are not sober, do not be so sure. Yes I lost, it's just in Re-animation... duh!

Then he started attacking Japanese rock music, saying those guitarist just use the E string to play. LOL, yes but not really, at least not all of them are sharp pitch rocker. Anyway, we do have a very different taste of music here. Bless you and your metal hard rock.

Head to Coles and shopped bunch of food, then I realised I left my wallet at home, duh x2! Told you, I'm not sober. Back home get my wallet and return to Coles, I almost hit by a car, phew! once again, not sober. Grabbed my stuff and walked home, second time almost hit by a car. OK, guess I'm sober now...

Not happy, gimme some satire!!!
I wanna hear Bush and Kerry sing for me!


[[audio: Baseball - Wolf Wonderland]]

Shutting from the sky, fallen into Claustrophobia

Uni result was out today, it's all good but couple of them I could get a higher grade if I have 2 more extra marks... *sigh* oh well! At least I have one less thing to worry about... One more semester then I'm done, and I started worrying if I could handle the last semester or not, then I worry what I'm gonna do after I finished, more and more...

This morning I have some uni friends called me about the result, couple of them fucked up and cried like hell. I have never fail any subject after I got into uni, which I'm quite worried that I may have this problem in the coming semester. I'm always good at helping friend get through all these terrible time, I hope I could handle myself if shit like this happen... I have promised a friend to go see the cultural studies headquarter with her tomorrow morning, I totally understand how she felt, just like me in high school fucked up my exam, family was upset and no one to talk to, it hurts.

I am not having a good feeling, friends said I am over-stressed, but I couldn't reject anything inside my head and not to worry them. Right now what aching my heart is my grandma, I got a called from my mom few days ago saying my grandma was in hospital doing "body check". Of coz it's not a "body check", I'm not that stupid... usually if that's a body check, my mom would call me after she's out of hospital. I wasn't too worry coz I have spoken to my grandma and she sounds quite alright, and I talked to my aunt, I could tell from her that this is not a simple bodycheck...

Yesterday, I got another aunt sending me an email about my grandma in the hospital, but no one telling me what's wrong with her, just body checking and waiting for some more test. Then I started panic, I rarely got email from this aunt, and when I heard the phase "some more test", this is not a good sign.

I hate people not telling me what's going on lest they may hurt my feelings, it's actually horrible... think about this, I have to suffer not knowing the truth and take the fact after something worse happened (if that's not getting better), it's like double my pains. I couldn't stand with people hiding the truth, whatever the intention is, It just paranoid me. People should realise that hiding the truth is equal to not being honest, and I have no respect to that.

last week, I picked up my pencil again, did I mention I used to draw comics for my high school magazine? heh heh... Not many friend in Australia know about it, but yea... I was quite good at sketching manga, it's my raw talent, something I haven't never learn from nowhere. Anyway, I was asked to draw a portrait, thank god my skill didn't get rusty, but my portrait scared me, coz the more I look at it, the more it depress me. Today I re-drew it, well... can't say re-drew, maybe modified. A little bit touch on the portrait, all in the sudden, this depressive picture became something delightful. Hmm... I hope my problems could be like this too.

A VERY BIG NEWS: I'LL BE ALLNIGHTER PRESENTER WEDNESDAY-THURSDAY 3-6AM. IF U AIN'T SLEEPING, LISTEN TO ME! (I work on Wed 12-4pm, then head back to studio 12-6, can u imagine this? gosh!)

[[audio: The Null Set - All Day Sucker]]

Tea? Coffee? or Peach Schnapps?

A big farewell hug to Corynne, this is the most lovely girl I have ever seen. The farewell in Lowenbrau was fantastic, and so glad to see you once more before you go. Enjoy your time in Europe, Me and Shai miss you tons. Thanks Rowntree for letting Me and Shai to crash in your place, it was way too cold to back home, and we would probably became popsicle without you. Waxed 3 - The Funk Train was such a wicked party, well done! Cheers mann, looking forward to seeing you play in my party. :) Shalailah my retro dear, I had the greatest time last nite, you are incredible. Thanks for keeping me warm and your party tricks, I had heaps fun hanging out with you! I really appreciated having you as my friend, it's nice to have a similar Leo with me. Remember to call me when your mom making butter chicken... yummm... love you Shai! I been worrying a lot of things recently, I know dreams and realities are really hard to compromise but at least I tried and still trying. I hate being stuck in a situation, I will find many ways to pull myself out. I don't wanna be a slave of the society, I just wanna be an actual human, me and myself. Life is to find your way out from one labyrinth to other. Shit!! How could I be so dumb??? I just realised the person who spoke behind me is that person! and that night this person was actually implying... *scream!!!!*

[[audio: L'arc~en~ciel - Heaven's Drive]]

Message from my friendster

To: faynepenthe-friendster@yahoo.com.au
From: BiBiAnna
Date: July 12, 2004 10:51 AM
Subject: How true is "LOVE" ,evaluate ourselves

Message:

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
LOVE.

[[audio: Faultline - The Colossal Gray Sunshine (Feat. The Flaming Lips)]]

He completed my day & more Friendster...

Gawd, I am yearning for some high quality joke to spank me face and get some good laugh, satire is always my favorite and I found this little satire friendster mail today, really satisfied me!

OK, to catch this satire you need to know what is friendster first, so go to their website and have a little tour. All the members in friendster have their own profile page, now come and check this member's profile out, how's that? :)

I share this funny mail with my lovely Bibianna via MSN, then she said "Do you know what OSAMA stand for?" I went "NO", then she continued "Oh Shit American Misile Again!" she really took my laughter to a higher level. Mann... Osama bin laden made my day to the top, thanks dude.

Sorry? did I hear someone said it's not enough? well, they have another page to mock Friendster, I think it's more like firing to all those people who posted a photo on any profile that they have/had made. (Bibi, I didn't tell you this, so chec git dawt!)

I hope the laughter could balance up the song of heart-shattering sadness by Faultline, coz this album almost make me cry, it's way too beautiful and sad. T_T

P.S. I apologize about what I said yesterday, if you didn't get my invitation doesn't mean I hate you, probably you couldn't reach me, or your mail box fucked up like Ben, so I'm gonna link it here. Trust me, I don't hate you.

[[audio: Faultline - Your Love Means Everything (feat. Chris Martin "Coldplay")]]

I'm qualified as a Byotch! Woohoo!

This is allsome! My blog have more editing functions now and I can put more fancy shit on my post, all you people should sign up a blog in blogger and bitch each other as vicious as you can.
 
Anyway, I've been making my little invitation card for my birthday, you should have got it under the following conditions:

• You live in Sydney
• You gave me your email
• You see me during these 2 weeks

If you fit all the conditions above and you haven't got it, then I probably hate you and you should back to your room and think about what have you done that pissed me off so bad. hehe!

Wednesday I saw Shantan who gave me 4 tickets to DMC and told me if the non-member winners don't wanna sign up, I could have to tix. I called them up and they wanna sign up and claim the tix, fair enough tho I want the tickets badly. Today when I check the prize drawers, the tickets were still here, and the DMC was last nite... Oh shit me! I should have took the tix instead of wasting them on those dipshits, who pretend they were so passionate about it and didn't give a fuck afterwards. Arghhh!

While I was bitching those douches, there's a huge box of Wrigley fruitjuice chewing gum delivered to the station, Mann... there're like 720 pack of chewing gum in the box, so we all got free chewing gummie in the mouth. Some other staff brought some lollies and choco as well, what a feast...! Yummmm...

I'm sorta amazed today, coz finally we have someone here called me "Byotch"! YeeHarrr Whatssup! Linda and me were talking about clothes and stuff today, and she kept asking me where I get my boots, my bag and such and such... I smirked and whispered "heheh.. Hong kong baby, it's sweet..." Then she started attacked me by calling me "You Oversea Byotch!" If you knew me for awhile, you should have known that I wanna be a bitchy byotch, and now I got it! Way to go~! By the way, me and Linda also came up an idea to have a halloween party, that sounds fantastic to me. Halloween is super big in Hong Kong and it's my favorite festival, but no one give a shit here, which always frustrate me... So we are gonna make it big in this coming Halloween, stay tune!

A very great news to all the FBi lovers and whom dunno how's FBi sounds like, we are working on the streaming radio system now, and soon everyone can enjoy the sound of Sydney. Keep going Traeger, I have faith in you!

Alrighty, I'm out of here, peace out. muah muah.

[[audio: Brian Campeau - It's just the End of the World]]

When sanity in love with insanity, nihilism began...

I'm so glad that I could finally shop some food and do some housework yesterday, which I haven't done for the past 2 weeks. You wouldn't believe it's a girl room if you came to visit me, thanks gawd no one wanna come, phew! anyway my apartment is doggy that's always so embarassing to invite my friends to come.

Today I just mucked around with the Wednesday gang as usual, here's some highlights:

-Me playing the inflattable chair with Shalailah, and she flashed her undies out. hehe!
-Shalailah spreaded out the rumour that I am truly in love with Danielsan...(This is UNTRUE)
-Shalailah threw out another rumour that I am also in love with Conway... (LOL, nice try)
-Shalailah came out the final rumour that I am in love with her... (now everyone thinks I'm a les)

Christina and Clare asked me to stay for the 'FREE BEER' FBi meeting, apparently I did stay which not really for the beer but just hanged out. I sorta think this 'FREE BROOZE' bizness ain't really works, since people would probably all be trashed in the meeting, at least I heard so many bottles dropped down on the floor and such. Yet some people's suggestions were quite interesting, and also quite a lot of emotional moments there, all these FBi spirit really deeply impressed me.

Currently we are dealing with a typical ethic issue about censorship for children, which I was abit pissed that how it constrain the freedom of expression. I totally agreed with someone in the meeting, said how those top 10 pop song preaching the gangster perception to the kid. If this matter has to blame on the media, I think it just don't work, how about point this gun back to the stupid parent who don't look after their children? The kids will know this sorta stuff anyway, even they don't get it from the media, the school kid would probably dress up like a street smart, tell you kid to sniff some cocaine and beat them up coz their parent watch Oprah. The world is dirty and it's impossible to avoid, but they can teach their kids to take a shower or wash their hands instead of not touching anything or scold the world why being so dirty. If your kids don't listen to you, don't be a pussy, BEAT THE CRAP OUF OF THEM!

Kids are very perceptive indeed, they do whatever the adult say. Take the example that I saw in the news today, the terrorists are training their kids to become the new terrorism generation. Don't freak out, but yes they have a school for that and the kids are doing great, they know how to kidnap people in the car and strangle them to dead, they know how to set up a bomb and different kinda traps, they know who is their enemy and how to shoot the hell out of them. Put this theory to the ethic issue that I just discussed, teach the kid not to follow what the bad media say, teach them how to suffer the school douche by forcing them to see Oprah... and so on. See? The world can be beautiful in this way.

Anyway, another shocking news that I saw in the news today, is the new renovated prison. Apparently it looks more like a 3 star hotel to me, which means being a prisoner is million times better than the working class who paid tax to build this hotel-liked prison. Let me make a simple comparison table here:

Prisoner:
-Live in a prison that like a hotel
-TV, Playground, very nice bed...etc. all provided
-Doing nothing, just behave yourself
-If you did something wrong, you stay longer in this hotel-liked prison, well why not?

Working Class:
-Live in a shit hole that like a prison
-crappy TV, tiny balcony, shitty bed...etc. probably all second-hand
-Work your arse off, and no leave early
-If you did something wrong, your salary may got cut off or you may got sacked, then you suicide.

So if you felt your life is so shit, go and kill someone or rob the bank and shit, get into the prison then your life will become very beautiful. NO JOKE. OK, I am off to watch some Simpson and Futurama now, ciao.

PS. I've decided to have my bday party in Verandah, so please please free your 28th (Wed) nite and come for a drink with Dan Rowntree spinning his hip hop breaks!

[[audio: Katalyst - Uprock This]]

Full of stamps on my body...

Saturday, Shake up? or Little Birdy? Jeez... I've been struggled this question for the whole week.

Reason going to Shake up
-Shalailah's there.
-they have the herd, macromantics and Kid confucius

Reason going to Little Birdy
-Sonic's there
-it's little Birdy first individual live ever
-they have the Camels playing

Well... I end up going to see Little Birdy, two reasons: I've never seen Little Birdy's live and it's Sonic's Birthday. I have to say that Little Birdy is my favourite Aussie female rock singer, I love Magic Dirt and Fur Patrol too, but Little Birdy's distinctive voice and many of her songs are the top! I was an hour late to the Gaelic Club, but glad that I didn't miss The Camels. Oh! The Camels... They are super Orsum, "Summertime", "First Kiss" and many great songs that heated up the entire crowd. The vocalist handled situation like guitar string's broken perfectly, he changed the string in no time and nothing was interrupted in the middle of the song. He broke his E string two songs after, they he just took it off and said "F*ck it, we can rock on without E String", which he did played the whole song very well without the E string. Fully Respackt!

Little Birdy came up gracefully with her band, black semi-seethrough dress (you could see her black underpants with white spots) and long black socks with yellow high heels, very kool and rock n'roll! Started with "Relapsed" and "Too late" which the crowd should be familiar with; then came up with several slow rock like "My fault" and "Beautiful" which were so nice and mellow; After some new songs, she finally played "This is a love song" and "Baby Blue", people started shouting out "You are f*cking Sexy!" which she is! I am fully in love with this rock chick, power to Little birdy. (I have to mention her unique accent here, apparently she kept saying "Thank kill" which really amazed me.)

Heh heh... So you think I missed The Herd and Macromantics? Well I didn't, coz they played for Macromantic's CD launch on Sunday at Newtown!! And it's free entry, Woohoo!!! I went with Christian after the Aroma coffee festival and met up with Shalailah, Buhaigar and Jackson. It was such a great show, heaps local hip hop bands' MCs just rocked up to the stage and freestyled together, such as Alphabetics, the Herd, Koolism, Sleeping Monk, Macromantics and so on. What can I say? I'm lucky! Later on, we saw DJ Danielsan somewhere in the crowd and I started getting excited! Shalailah kept pushing me to say Hi to him but I was too shy to go, I was like a big fan saw my big idol, my heart was pumping so fast! *scream* Oh well! I'm not worried, coz I'm pretty sure soon I'll see him again and will definitely talk someday... muahehe!

Anyway, we jumped into Shalailah's car, put on The Stroke and drive home. How sweet is this weekend?

P.S. Big ups to Sonic, Pat, and Robin (The Camels' father) whose birthday's on Saturday, also big big ups to my dear DJ Danielsan, his birthday's on Friday, bless you all. muah muah muah!

P.S.S. To whoever likes coffee, Olivers coffee is the champion of the Aroma coffee festival, considering they have the smoothest and greatest taste of coffee I have ever have.

(FACT: I have 5 stamps on both of my wrists and my back neck during these two days.)

[[audio: Pulp - Disco 2000]]

Scatch out da funk, scatch out koolism!

So what's going on after I left FBi? It was a big huge "Wow". Heading to Koolism's "PT3 Random Thoughts" gig is definitely the best decision for tonite, despite there's so many great things happened simultaneously. I met up with Jackson in the Gaelic Club, he forgot his ID card but people surprisingly let him in, this dude was sooo lucky. He been checking out the DJ on the stage, and we started joking about how Jackson in love with him. Jackson tried to wave, kiss and rub his arse to get his attention, which was so funny, unfortunately no connection were made, boohoo. (OK, this is just a joke, he is not gay, so all the gay guys back off...)

I sticked the Koolism sticker on my back, though Jackson kept convincing me to stick it on my bum. Katalyst came up and tried to heat up the crowd, music was orsum but MC wasn't good enough to stir up the heat. I feel quite sorry for him that not many people followed what he asked to do, no matter how hard he tried...

When Koolism came up, the whole scene has totally changed to a funky dance floor, it was a big "Wow". I have to say DJ Danielsan is the best DJ I have ever seen here, this bloke has a magical scatching hand, funny how Jackson shouted out "Fay wants you Danielsan!" hehe... I am very impressed with his scatching skill, DJ Danielsan is a world class DJ legend!

It's such a good nite, many good dancers stood up for the show making some eye candies. Yet there're bunch of ladies smoking weed next to us. Luckily the smoke was going to the other way, so it wasn't that stink, else I would be so annoyed... :p

Rock on Koolism! "Dirty Dirty~ Funky baby~ Super Kool~!"

[[audio: Zeebra - Big Big Money]]

Leave your message after the beep...

Wow wow wow... I am still busy like hell, but dun think you are interested, coz it's all parties, work, gigs, catch ups and such. Tonite I'm going to see Koolism and Katalyst in Gaelic Club, and tomorrow will headed to Pat's birthday party in Vivaz (and I'm gonna miss Little Birdy live and the Shake up... *sigh* oh well!) Sunday will probably go to coffee festival in the rocks, heh heh... (To whoever may concern, do not ask me to see Spiderman 2 anymore, I hate this film, just don't! I won't see it!)

I wanna say thanks to Dan Rowndtree and Shalailah made a lot of hilarious jokes to keep me awake, heh heh... you guys kick ass. Esp Rowndtree help me cover the work so I can back home for some sleep. I promise will come to your DJ show. Jeez... I'm in love with Fbi more and more.

and ahem... Happy Birthday to Kendra, tho her birthday was on Wednsday, it's not that I forgot, it's just that I was really busy to get online and give her a big up! Hope it's not too late~~

Last nite I went to see Godsend with Ben my great buddy broda! I ranked Godsend 5.5 out of 10, why? I tell you why:

Why see it?
-good scary effect
-surprise ending

Why not to see it?
-no climax
-confusing and boring plot
-six sense & the others are better

Everytime when I talk with Ben, we always bring up something that we don't usually talk to others. And he made me understand myself better in the conversation we had yesterday, it was very emotional to both of us. At least I can see something clear and better, something that been bothering me alot recently, and I'm not as anxious as I was. (I am scared, but something must be done.)

People, if you got nothing to do on thursday, should come to Chatswood, we have an international food festival and a little carvinal thing here. Me and Ben had the Japanese Octopus ball (Tako yaki), and it was soooo nice! Yummm...

Today TISM came up for Linda's arvos show interview, and they were wearing silver BALACLAVAS... (you will probably only see people wear like this in wrestling game, halloween or maybe Mardi Gras.)LOL, I got freaked out and dropped my coke on the floor in front of them... Gawd how embarrassing! I tried not to laugh, not ever smile! I could barely hold it and I rushed to the Music library room, closed the door and laugh it f**king out loud! (with Karlos and Anthony) These band is sooo funny, no matter the way they look or the way the talked, it was just amazing!

Hey hey, we got two melbourne bands come and sign up as passionate member in Fbi! whatsup! power to you all! It's the Null Set and Velure! they are not only rock, but also superdupa nice! I can't believe the bass dude in Velure is more elegant than me; Toby in the Null Set is sooo kool and funny, he wanna make a birthday cake for my radio station! bless you Toby.

It's raining again...
Ok, I should leave Fbi now, get my ass to Gaelic Club for my Koolism.

[[audio: Secret Machine - Nowhere Again]]

Another goodbye, another life

I had half of my diary done today in uni, but the stupid computer was frozen and all the bloody words were gone. Oh well, I was too tired to piss off, so I decided to type it once more today...

SUNDAY

I supposed to have a quiet Sunday after the whole crazy weekend, but one call totally changed my plan. It was Simone calling me that she's leaving on Tuesday, and she invited me to her farewell party. Aww... another nice friend going, it's so sad that no matter how close you with, how deep the attachment is, they are just a passer-by in your life. But well, I also appreciate the days we had which I'd never forget. *wink*

OK here is the story, fatigue made me abit lost in the direction when I got to Kings Cross, I went to the red light area which I noticed that was not the right way since I was studied by those securities who actually look kinda like some pimps... So I pretended as a deaf byotch, ignore all the nasty men and rushed back to the billboard. *phew* Saw Oporto on the other side, which suddenly brought me back the memory of where Simone's house at.

After I made my way there and gave whoever there my greeting hug, the first thing that I did was grabbed a hand full marble chocolate, put them all in my mouth, chewed as fast as I could and swallowed! nice...

We had a few drinks and headed to the German gals' most favourite spot - the three wise monkey. I didn't dance much and such, but I had tons fun meeting Simone's friends, it was very international... I stayed up as late as I could for my very last time with Simone before she leave, aww... I am already missing her.

MONDAY

I was invited to see Mean Girls by Jess and Tara in the afternoon, but actually I just wanna catch up with the gals. To be honest, if that's not Tina Fey, there's no way I would go for this High Skool teen byotch fight movie. Well, the movie was alrite, I would rank it 4 of out 10, funny but not good enough to kill, everything is sorta same old same old - gay & lesban, backstab, nerd and plastic... *yawn*

Caught a bus back to city and met up Oliver, I know this Swiss friend(who looks like Jamie Oliver, but he's good at cooking too) since last nite in Simone's party, but he's leaving Sydney on Tuesday, so I took him out for a little farewell dinner. Despite we just know each other for 2 days, I found it's pretty kool to hang out with him, probably we have quite a lot of things and personality in common. We went to newtown considering it's one of the best spot in Sydney that he had never been before. Some more drinks, pool games, conversation and singing after dinner, it was very great for monday nite!

Let me quote some funny and shibby conversation that we had during the past couple days.

Fay "Does Swissland have they own language?"
Oliver "Yes"
Fay "is that called Swedish?"
Oliver "LOL, I thought I'm stupid by speaking Japanese in front of you, now I think I'm not the only one..."

Oliver "I love Sweet chilli"
Fay "Swiss chilli?"
Oliver "LOL"

Oliver "I'll open a restaurant and offer you a job to come to Swiss"
Fay "KOOL! I'm coming, what do I do?"
Oliver "You can be a dishwasher."
Fay "I'd like to have a second thought..."

Enough for idiocies...
bless you all, peace out.

[[audio: Jackson United - Downed to you]]

Alternative aural pleasure

Hey... Happy birthday to Amber the spunky gal, it was a nice party on saturday nite. Met up with Pete and Susan in Chatswood, then we headed up to city for some drinks and pool games. I haven't played pool for ages, thought it's gonna be pretty rusty, but I was very surprised that I made a few nice shot, at least I heard some dude were applauding. Pete kept putting coins to the music machine for some Gun n'Roses and Oasis, but Susan and I prefer some Prince that some random guys put on.

Afterward, we went to Soho bar and met up with Amber and her friends, it was very kool. We talked alot of writing, plays, music and stuff, which was very interesting, and I'm surprised that I talked quite alot with Susan, since we didn't have much conversation and such in the class.

Music there were very good and dancable, tho I have to say Chinese Laundry last nite is still the top in my list. Me, Susan and Amber started to have some boogie dance, good fun good fun... Unfortunately I got tired very soon as I didn't have much sleep during the past few days, so I headed home very early... *pfff* bloody hell, I really wanna sleep, rolling on the bed, rubbing my head on the pillow, but I couldn't for some reasons. Insomnia? My stomach started feeling abit funny...

[[audio: Prince - You sexy motherf**ker]]

Rambling::Forbidden Lovers

Heart dropped down to the deep cold well,
blinded eyes are mourning without tears and soul.
Forbidden lovers fell in the condemned cage,
kiss in the darkness, snuggle in the chill.
hair floating on the water, blood coloured the river,
reality or dream, truth or lies, nothing could be sure,
for the moment we love, we betray, we believe, we regret...
Purified after reborn, contaminated after life,
again and again.

Meaningful or meaningless?

[[audio: switchfoot - meant to life]]

Break dancing in the Laundry

Zup cyberists, Ya know what funny is that you can never have a break in your break? coz you have so many things to do in your break that you couldn't do when you're not in the break? and there're so many party that you cant escape in your break because it's a break and if you end up not going people will break your neck? jeez... It indeed happens every single break I have in my life, somehow i enjoy that, so don't conceive this as a negative message.

Thursday nite I stayed up til 3 in the morning just for the wimbledon Williams vs Mauresmo, it was the best match i have ever seen for this year women championship. Shame on me that didn't stay up til the end of the game, and i was late to work this morning as well...

(FRIDAY)Big news from FBi, today is Dan Conway's last day in Fbi; we also have a new manager Clare; Jacinta will leave soon as well, Dan Buhagiar will go to Spain soon; Dan illic will go to Greece soon... A lot of big changes here, and so am I. I just applied to get involved as an "All Nighter" presenter, I know there's man people trying to get in, Karol also applied it, hopefully we can get in, that will be a big step for us.

I worked in FBi til 5pm, and Conway grabbed me and other staff to Alexandria hotel for his farewell party. They got a gigantic TV screen in the backyard, and playing the Wimbledon game that I watched last nite, so I could catch up the last bit of the match! YEAH! OK, why is this such a great match? Coz Mauresmo rocks and she totally get on Williams! Apparently Williams smack the racket on the ground and broke it, you can tell how piss off she was! Plus the whole game was so fast and intense, it was so amazing! Well, Williams still won at last, but it was so close that Mauresmo almost win. After that, they put on Euro 2004! I so wanna watch but Conway went "stop watching the f**king telly Fay, you are here for my farewell!!" LOL... so I back to the party.

Party wasnt super big, it's all big staff in the station. There, I met Conway's friend - Linda and Rico. We were talking about lots of radio stuff, travelling experiences and personal stuff. Conway was trashed, and we saw his drag queen picture in his drama production, which was damn hilarious (and he has no idea I got that picture).

We drank up til 10pm, Rico drove me to Nick's house party that I promised to go. Party was great, but we just went to say hi to Nick then leave after 10 minutes. Well, it is because we need to head up for the third party, which was the FBi live in Chinese Laundry. The live was soooo wicked, funky breaks and deep house. we danced til 1am, then back home, it was good fun.

3 parties in one day aint easy. Conway the man, we all gonna miss you, rock on.

[[audio: Jet - Look what have you done]]

When Fire met water, Saintist became smoke
what is your tarot card significator?

Quiz
created by Polly Snodgrass.

WATER OF FIRE. You are energetic and dramatic. You don't hesitate to take the initiative and aren't normally comfortable being cooped up in the house. You need to be involved in some kind of cause or activity. Your charismatic personality gets you plenty of attention. You'd make a good artist and are very creative. You have a strong will; beware of jealousy or instability. You fiery wench you.

# posted by Fayske @ 11:14 AM

We live in the future

Finally I caught up all tha movies that I wanna see, today I saw Shrek2 with Pete. He grab me to sit in the second row of the cinema, crazy huge screen mann... It's kool, but made me a little bit dizzy. The movie was pretty good, not superdupa funny (I still laughed alot tho), but the animation technique was marvelous! (Probably I was closed to the scren, could even see the pores on the characters' face...) Well, as I expected, Puss in Bootz definitely the best character in the film, cute with attitude... How adorable!!

Had dinner with Sonic in the Japanese curry restaurant at Artarmon, mann... haven't been there for a long time, but the curry quality never changes, it's FANTASTIC! Ebi tempura (fried shrimp) curry is my eternal favourite in this restaurant, Sonic was the first time to have dinner there, he picked curry katsudon (pork fillet rice), which is their famous dish as well. sugoi umeeeee!!!

Back to yesterday, after heaps fun work in FBi, I went to see Harry Potter 3 with Jackson. It was very kool with many new fresh perspective of filming skills, again, the computer effects and the suspense enigma always impress me alot. I was so happy to see Gary Oldman (Sirius) in this film, he is one of my favorite actor all the time. and What's up with the new wizard Dumbledore? He's pretty good indeed. And how funny is that Tom the innkeeper kept reminding me the REM vocal? We laughed kinda long time for that, and later on I started recognizing him, who's one of the actor in the Sketch show! heh heh...

We headed down to Soupplus for some soup + jazz after the movie, they had a very great swing band playing last nite, it was fully pack but luckily they had a table for two left out so that we could get in. Nice Jazz, nice soup and nice cheap drink! Funny that the barman asked Jackson's ID and said "your 18+ card is expired..." haha! that's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. Anyway, it was a great nite... :)

People, check out Levin's frizzle sizzle whizzle drawings!
(He's the Monday arvos presenter in FBi, wicked person.)

click me click me!

[[audio: phoenix - run run run]]