Days we had in Hijiville

We forget all the little things

Read something about brain dumping today. It is an interesting idea from those computer nerds, who suggest that human can live without a body when computers are powerful enough to download (or copy) exactly the same structure of our brain thinking pattern. A new formula for immortality - living in a computer, transfer soul from flesh and blood to machine body.

At first I thought this is sort of wack, but then... maybe it wasn't that bad. I'm not a person with good memory, nor a genius who could fully utilize the brain. If my strength is replaced by electricity, and my memory is stored in the hard disk, life would definitely so much easier.

Perhaps it would be even better if we could select the bad memory, chunk it in the trash bin and erase it, or edit it for a better memory. Of course, brain dumping is threatening, dumping your brain/ body away isn't something everyone wanna do! Isn't it ironic? People always say that appearance is not important but the heart. Indeed, this statement has already opened the beginning of a posthuman culture?

I wonder... what is the point of living as a flesh and blood?

P.S. Little Birdy's live last nite was super awesome, man I love them sooooo much.

[[audio: Little Birdy - This is a Love Song]]

PERFORMANCE PRODUCTION DETAILS

How's going? Some of you may know that I'm doing a performance production in my uni, and thank god we finally showing to the public. And I hope you guy would come to see our unit production. If you are interested, here is the details:

What: Distorted (with 6 student productions in CUL310)

Where: Macquarie University Theatre Studio (building: F9C 140)

When: Nov 4-6 (Thur - Sat) 7:30pm (come earlier for good seat.)

How Much: $8 (with a free drink - soft drink, beer, house wine)

*Filming is allowed (if you like this sorta thing)

If you have any question, email fayske@yahoo.com.au or call me 0402 599 464.
See you there. :)

Freak Out By The Ocean

I think I never belong to the sea, never have nice impression of it, and never expect to have any at all.
Fishes are my forever enemy, I hate keeping a gold fish, I am scare of sharks, and I love eating seafood so much.
Sharks are probably the most scary living things that next to cockcoaches, they should be all destroyed.
My mom made me to learn swimming in childhood, I mastered it and love it a lot, but only in the swimming pool.
I have experience got pushed to the middle of the sea from a boat and rescued by my uncle.
I used to have many similar nightmares: got drifted away from the shore without control and eaten by sharks.

Are they some kind of fucking psychics or what? They can really read my mind and made it as a movie! SHIT!
Awhile ago, I went to watch OPEN WATER with my Denmark friend Sisse, and we both got seriously freaked out.
Low budget film (seems like filmed by handcam), but the story was unbelievibly scary, I was psychologically disturbed.
Last scene is the freakest part ever, no dramatic or disgusting things happened, but very creepy...
Way better than all those Jaws series. This is the best animal attack movie I have ever seen in my life.

I swear to god: never go scrub-diving in the rest of my life. (unless someone put a spell on me.)

Now I need to watch some EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND to calm down myself.
Later.

[[audio: Neon - A Man]]

A moment too soon we've turned to grey

My mood is still flat, well... relatively depress. I am doing well, don't worry. Probably it's because of the weather; or perhaps so many bad things has happened to my friends that brought me down...

Pez is still laying on a hospital bed struggling with his tumor; Yue's father passed away in a fatal car accident; Mau is still disappeared; few friends of mine broke up in a love relationship... I'm just trying to concentrate on my uni work, in order to numb my feelings, to be more rational and intellectual. It does help, it sucks out all my emotions from my body, and all I got here is just a vessel.

Saw "The life and death of Peter Sellers" with Lez last week in the Hoyts Paris. This is an excellent film with a magnificent interpretation, sorta remind me the movie "American Splender". It's interesting to see how he manipulates every terrible thing he did to a forgivable story. His idea of "Being There" is also facinating - no past/obligation , no future/expectation, just now. What a boy who never grow up, unfortunately, it didn't change my mind thinking that he deserves the failure.

Now I am preparing my presentation for tomorrow, and I really not in a mood doing that. Well, that's university, it's all about push push push, push you to the deadline and see you die. Shit, this is so stressful and I seriously need some alcohol. (look, I didn't go out clubbing at all in these few months, so leave me alone if you wanna give me lesson or join me!) Damn it's 3am now, I better get my ass back to my speech.

P.S. Can someone make me a Halloween Party please? Trick or Treat?

Audio: I've been listening to Feeder's album again, it is a magical music works like an ointment. I am surrounded by this amazing sound, as if a pair of invisible hands get into my stomach, softy touching my intestine. (It sounds kinky, but trust me it feels good...) I would definitely recommond this to all my friends who is having a harsh time now. Try this: Just the way I'm feeling; Child in you; Comfort in sound; Forget about tomorrow; Summers gone; Quick Fade; Love pollution; Moonshine.

P.S.S. Grant Nicholas is a gifted songwriter, bless you man.

Four seasons in one day

I stayed up the whole night to do my essay again, I should convince myself that it's fun, or I won't be able to tolerate it anymore... Well, I was listening to Karol doing Allnighter last nite, I supposed to go and keep him company, but during the freakly unpredictable weather and my heavy assignments, I dogged him. Yes I felt very quilty, so I called up to the studio 3 in the morning cheering him up, I also did a request as well. KOOLISM!

I lost all my floppy disc for some reasons, so I send a copy to my own email account. The mail ended up going to the bulk, what the...? I mean... that is my own email address, why the heck yahoo thinks it's a spam? Not even mention I've been getting countless notification mail saying I constantly send out virus mail. I sent the customer service a letter and asked them to clear them out. Stupid auto-reply mail just say what I should do to prevent it get into my HDD. *sigh* I have to admit that Yahoo Staffs are unbelievably stupid.

STEAMBOY OK, to all those AKIRA's fans. Get ready to run to Dendy and watch Katsuhiro Otomo's latest animation - STEAMBOY! Well, they haven't announce the date yet, but we need to stay alert for this awesome movie! Check out their Japanese website, yea the intro flash is good enough to trigger your animation desire. *grins* Don't worry they also have a English site!

[[audio: Prodigy - Girls]]

Visual Pleasure - Moving in Still

Cry Out Loud In The Silence

Happy birthday to Patrick and Shalini. Sorry for my belated greeting. I've been very very very busy in doing my assignment. Just handed in my review essay couple days ago and now doing another presentation paper... soon I'll have my whole week doing 3 major essays. Perhaps it's a good thing to keep myself busy, or I might feel so useless as if a vacuum.

I wanna give my big love to my lovely Karol for helping me reading my paper. This dude seriously relieves my stress and my frustration, which means a lot to me. And this is very cute to see him got so shy while Rocket Science came up to FBi for interview. He has prepared all his Rocket Science CDs and asked for autography for each single album. He's just like a little kid saw his idol, abit like me saw DJ Danielsan. heh heh...

Oh by the way, CONGRATULATION for KOOLISM! They won the Urban Arias Award tonite which is totally awesome! and watching Danielsan in front of the TV screen is weird but exciting... Way to Go!!! I was told they will come to Sydney for gig in the end of Oct, so stay tuned!!

Another news....
I'm having my play showing to the public from Nov 4-6, which is Thur, Fri, Sat. So free any your time of these days, come to Macquaire University F9C 140 Theatre Studio and see me down on the stage. It's probably cost you few bucks (to be confirmed) and you will be able to watch 6 performance production. Don't miss it~ I'll be happy to see anyone I know to come and laugh how suck I am. :p Anyway, after my production meeting later, will reannounce the detail of the price and any changes (if there's any). If you are FBi citizens, please feel free bring it up to your show. One Love...

Nothing much I wanna say at the moment, my mood is quite flat right now.
OK, I should get my arse back to my paper.
Minna san jya ne...

P.S. Apart from being a prostitute, what is the best/fastest way to gain $20,000?

[[audio: Rocket Science - One Robot]]

Be a barbarian, living in an anachic life.

I'm frustrated in writing my uni paper, my head is blocked and it's full of negativity right now. Despite I did well in my presentation, maybe I'm better in talking. But I'm sick of talking in my class, after all being competitive is not me at all, and arguing with snobby students isn't pleasing. Seeing these people haranguing their critical theories with their "better than anyone" attitude is disgusting, especially it's so obvious that they criticize how crap these thoerists are and how dump those people act. I really can't get involve to this kinda conversation, nothing to do with the content but context.

Anyway, let me spend the rest of my message talking about some happy things. Last week I had been looking for the name of a track that FBi constantly plays recently, and finally I meet the band - the Boat People. They invited me to see their gig with Paul Greene in Sandingham Hotel, which was awesome. The boys are very friendly, not only bought me drinks, but also gave me the single "Tell Someone Who Cares", which is the song that I really love. I took many pictures for/with them, and seriously looking forward to seeing them again in December! (go to the top left bar and click photo album 2)

Saturday was abit mad, I supposed to meet up with Shiling and Clara, but something happened that resulted a cancellation. I went to see "You Got Served", which is a very kool break dancing flick. It's abit like 8 Miles + Honey, very worth to watch it though the storyline is shit, the dancing is absolutely amazing - a CREW break dancing BATTLE show.

Then I met up with Sonic to see another movie - Harold and Kumar, this is abit tricky... I waited him paid a ticket, got in the cinema and took me to the movie, which means I didn't pay for this movie... *grins* Anyway, I noticed this movie since Starsky and Hutch (they put H&K trailer on their website), and comedy always enjoyable to watch... H&K is somehow quite different from other comedies I have seen, it mainly plays around transcultural issues (dah! protagonists are chinese and indian, story happens in America) with usual funny elements - smoking weed, sex fantasy, dirty stuff, gross...etc. I did have a very good laugh.

Two movies wasn't the end of it. I met up with Lezel to see Faithless, again, thanks Nick for the double passes! *muah* The concert was magnificent, especially the stage setting was damn amazing. We were standing on the 3rd row and danced our head off. We also met Kathrine who is lez's classmate, also was a DJ in London, but we lost her in the crowd... I also took some pictures in this concert, go to the new photo album and check it out! (go to the top left bar and click photo album 2)

Last nite I crashed in Wance place, she was very nice... offer me a haircut and made me steak for dinner. My mom said this girl is either threatening my mom's position or my sexuality. I feel bad that I felt to sleep while she was cutting my hair, she kept pulling my hair and asked me to wake up. Well, I didn't sleep the day before to prepare my presentation, so bare me missy! Fortunately, nothing screwed up to my hairdo, she really have the talent... *big ups to Wance*

You may have noticed that I got ridded of the tag board, I realised it is the one that links with those annoying pop-up ad. Thus, a cheesy picture of mine with FBi posters would replace for a moment of peace, unless you guys want the tag board back regardless the crappy ads.

Geez... it's 3am, time goes fast.

[[audio: The Boat People - Tell Someone Who Cares]]

Hold your arse, or you may laugh it off

The following list is from the radioinfo website, something me, Karol and Cailyn been laughing for the whole day. Check it out, Australian journalists really got the wit!

The Year's Best [actual] Headlines 2004

1. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

4. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

5. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

8. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

9. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

10. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

11. War Dims Hope for Peace

12. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

13. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

14. Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

15. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

16. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

17. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

18. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

19. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

20. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

21. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

22. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the best of all is:

23. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

[[audio: Plant life - Appreciate]]

Jazz up a Good Spirit, Laugh it out Loud!

Two weeks holiday has already passed, three assignments have all been done at last. Every iches of my body is aching and sored, I spent too many time on the screen overnight, I feel sick and my brain hurt. But I am going to uni again and get some more assignment to do, eww...

I had a good sleep last nite, but I am just 70% recovered, I should be happy about that. Did some make up on myself to cover all the sign of tireness on my face, and rocked up to FBi. Things did not work out that well, everyone could tell I was seriously tired. I did not space out, I promise I did not... I made a lot of fun conversation with the people. But Zilber was straight up to me, "Why everytime you look so tired?" and I was like "Damn! I've already put on make up to cover it, what do you want??? You should do a jig to entertain me! Do a wheel spin now!" and I scared him away, I am sorry love!

I was very glad indeed, today I finally experience a big laugh again, it's been awhile. Nic is the man who made me soooo happy, but it's sorta embarrassing to him. Well, we were having a super kool chat, ok? he was like so into it, ok? and me too, ok? and he was holding his coffee, ok? OK, and he was pouring his coffee on his pant, ok? well, I didn't know that at first, coz I was talking, ok? until he was like "oh..." and we both looked at his pant, and it was like... he wet his pant, and he was so embarrassed, and I was laughing so hard that I couldn't stop... ok? OK... I feel bad to mention it here, but that was way too funny not to share it! Well, it's all kool, his embarrassment isn't bad, it seriously released my tireness and inserted my happiness and good spirit. I went "Nic, don't be embarrassing, it happened to people all the time, including me!" and he went "thanks, I feel so much better..." and we started sharing experience of pouring stuff on pant, I really enjoy talking about it.

Did I hear someone said I am weird? I had this conversation with Shalini and Rowntree revealed that I am a sicko as well. But it also fill me up with more laughters, I'm loving it. OK, I got Robin's number for Shalini so that she can invite him to her birthday party, and she was asking me to invite him. I went "Why don't you call him?" She went "It's weird that he realised I have his number!" then I joked "Just said Fay gave it to you, and she knows everything, even what colour of underpants they are wearing!!!" And we were all like "Ewww! HAHAHA.... (last for 5 mins)" Damn, I'm funny!

The most important that keep my spirit up was that I finally touching ProTools again! God it's been ages since uni. I was editing the atoms for my play because I'm in charge of sound designing. This is so weird, once I open the software, heaps inspirations were like burst out from my head. I was superdupa amazed about that, perhaps I should offer myself to FBi and edit some stuff. How about make some promos for them? hmm... Nice.

Good spirit always pays you some good stuff. I scored a double pass to see Faithless from Nick, isn't this great? Mind you, they are very expensive to see, and this passes are incredibly rare! Thank you all my Nickies, you guys are fantastic!

OK, time to get some sleep.

P.S. Little Bird is having a National Tour, 29th Oct in Sydney. Mann... How can I miss this????
P.S.S. The Kebab shop's lady is in a very good mood too! She was flirting to me...
P.S.S.S. Over smoking is not good for your health!!! Stop doing that!!!

[[audio: Third Eye Blind - Good For You]]

My old shirt smell just like yesterday

Basically, I spent my whole weekend at home, just to do my assignment. No whining... I need to do it indeed.

I dun really like myself right now, I know I should appreciate how much I have grown up. But where the fuck has my energy gone? feel like my life is going to the end. I really miss the days I had, days I have my energy to move myself closer to my rebellious dream.

Now I am still changing, I'm still moving myself, but my destination is no longer my primitive dream, it became my second thought. I hate having second thought, it is an evil insert negativities/restrictions to your positivities/possibilities.

Why should I believe that my first thought is idealistic? It is sad, and I also have learnt to get real. I have learnt to insist my thought and make my primary/ raw dream possible.

I still remember when I was talking to my friend about life, he said "fay, you are way too idealistic, life isn't simple. afterall you still have to go out get a job and money would be the only thing you want once you get into the society"

What he said really fucking scares me, because I know it could be true, it is possible to be contaminated by reality. (should I put comtaminated?) People in Hong Kong are very realistic I can tell you, Australia indeed gives many chances to the kids, they should be happy about that.

I wish to change, that we don't have to live with the fact that we have to get real, but let the dreams get real. Of course, not all the dreams can become true, not because they are impossible, but it's just not possible at the moment, we need to let the technologies grow. (e.g. GM engineering may able to make a pair of wings on your back, I bet heaps people have dreamt about it, but it's all about time and our guts.)

The matter is about "how idealistic can the fact be?"

I really don't like commericalisation under capitalism, where dreams and realities have all polluted by materialism. They have not only kill the potential of dream and reality, but also the opportunities for the kids.

Think about this, a 11yo kid said "I wanna be an artist", OK! Most of the parents will come up now and say "you are soooo materialism" or "get real! get a PROPER job!" or "stop dreaming, artist can't make money"...etc. This is fucking sad, I can't say they are wrong though, but why not give them a chance? Give them a proper education of art in a proper art institution for god sake.

I think it is pathetic to see someone doing their job that ain't what they dream to do. So many people I have seen, they all study commerce, business and accounting just because their parents ask them to. At first, they were so proud and went to me "one day you will see me working in a big company, and art students like you may probably end up at macdonald" (with their joking tone.) Then, I started seeing their long face and whines "this is boring, I wish to get out of this as soon as possible." Finally they graduated, some realised that too many accountant competitors, compromised as a clerk; some got a nicee job, but still with their long face and go "Bloody stressful, bloody boring, bloody politics... How long can I stand with this?"

When your parents said studying business is good for you, have you really thought about it?

You may said it's easy to talk, reality is still cruel.
Dude, nothing starts easy, but when there's no survive of dream, you will regret, you absolutely will.

Let go of the reality, get real for the dream.
For the sake of the future, for the sake of yourself.
Free yourself, do not give up your talent.

P.S. I miss my bibi and shortie.

[[audio: Taking Back Sunday - Ghost Man On Third]]

Anyone thirsty?

Happy Tree Friends have it's latest episode for our summer,
watch it! Let the gals make you a drink to cool the thirst, take a sip my friends. *grins*

P.S. This is kool, SBS started to play their series! People should stay tuned for that!

If you don't care, let me know.

Hey a big kiss to my beautiful sexy FBi gal - Linda Marigliano for her 20th birthday day!(I know it was Monday, but you told me today!) She is a very talented but young presenter I've seen seen, indeed there are many young presenter in FBi who is full of potential to be a DJ star, so keep up your good work! xoxo

By the way, Stu has uploaded heaps FBi Birthday party's pictures, go and check it out!!!
http://www.fatplanet.com.au/fbibirthdayparty/

And WELCOME BACK MY DEAR DAN ILLIC!!!!! many things have changed in FBi and many beautiful FBi people have gone away... hso aving illic here is super great to face all these things... *big big smile!*

I wasn't in a very good mood in the past few weeks, don't know should I be mad or worry, but it's all categorized as upset. reason of that is someone has vanished, who was either being rude to me or something (I assume it's bad) has happened. I tried very hard to made myself happy, but it never last long and pain is still inside here.

I don't know if this is what you do, but before I mad at someone, I'd push bunch of excuses to defend for them. Until I could prove that all the excuses are non-sense, then I'd mad at someone. Seems like this is more intellectual to deal with my anger, indeed I'd been doing this to control my temper a long time ago.

Perhaps I don't want to be wrong, don't want to blame on a wrong person. But ya'know... When emotions comes to your head, silly thought always invade your rational mind.

But this, this... I've been holding back my anger for a very long time, long enough everyone suggests that I should get mad about this. I don't want to get mad because people told me to, but what has happened is indeed quite a bit far out. Think about this:

Someone promised you something, but didn't have that done. doesn't matter, but didn't tell you what happen. doesn't matter, I wait... no one cares. doesn't matter, I asked... no reply.

I was worried, but always tell myself I'm just paranoid. Friends warned me should not compromise that much. One month delay is absurded, an email could definitely be sent to tell you what happened. (I won't blame them if they were wrong, intension is good after all.)

I am, yes, not happy about this.
Still I am waiting for the email, is that too annoying to do so?

P.S. I'm pissed off by the heavy rain and crazy wind, could hardly got up this morning and I was late to the rehearsal. boohoo... :(

[[audio: Phoenix - If I Ever Feel Better]]