Sunday, October 03, 2004
My old shirt smell just like yesterday
Basically, I spent my whole weekend at home, just to do my assignment. No whining... I need to do it indeed.
I dun really like myself right now, I know I should appreciate how much I have grown up. But where the fuck has my energy gone? feel like my life is going to the end. I really miss the days I had, days I have my energy to move myself closer to my rebellious dream.
Now I am still changing, I'm still moving myself, but my destination is no longer my primitive dream, it became my second thought. I hate having second thought, it is an evil insert negativities/restrictions to your positivities/possibilities.
Why should I believe that my first thought is idealistic? It is sad, and I also have learnt to get real. I have learnt to insist my thought and make my primary/ raw dream possible.
I still remember when I was talking to my friend about life, he said "fay, you are way too idealistic, life isn't simple. afterall you still have to go out get a job and money would be the only thing you want once you get into the society"
What he said really fucking scares me, because I know it could be true, it is possible to be contaminated by reality. (should I put comtaminated?) People in Hong Kong are very realistic I can tell you, Australia indeed gives many chances to the kids, they should be happy about that.
I wish to change, that we don't have to live with the fact that we have to get real, but let the dreams get real. Of course, not all the dreams can become true, not because they are impossible, but it's just not possible at the moment, we need to let the technologies grow. (e.g. GM engineering may able to make a pair of wings on your back, I bet heaps people have dreamt about it, but it's all about time and our guts.)
The matter is about "how idealistic can the fact be?"
I really don't like commericalisation under capitalism, where dreams and realities have all polluted by materialism. They have not only kill the potential of dream and reality, but also the opportunities for the kids.
Think about this, a 11yo kid said "I wanna be an artist", OK! Most of the parents will come up now and say "you are soooo materialism" or "get real! get a PROPER job!" or "stop dreaming, artist can't make money"...etc. This is fucking sad, I can't say they are wrong though, but why not give them a chance? Give them a proper education of art in a proper art institution for god sake.
I think it is pathetic to see someone doing their job that ain't what they dream to do. So many people I have seen, they all study commerce, business and accounting just because their parents ask them to. At first, they were so proud and went to me "one day you will see me working in a big company, and art students like you may probably end up at macdonald" (with their joking tone.) Then, I started seeing their long face and whines "this is boring, I wish to get out of this as soon as possible." Finally they graduated, some realised that too many accountant competitors, compromised as a clerk; some got a nicee job, but still with their long face and go "Bloody stressful, bloody boring, bloody politics... How long can I stand with this?"
When your parents said studying business is good for you, have you really thought about it?
You may said it's easy to talk, reality is still cruel.
Dude, nothing starts easy, but when there's no survive of dream, you will regret, you absolutely will.
Let go of the reality, get real for the dream.
For the sake of the future, for the sake of yourself.
Free yourself, do not give up your talent.
P.S. I miss my bibi and shortie.
[[audio: Taking Back Sunday - Ghost Man On Third]]
Basically, I spent my whole weekend at home, just to do my assignment. No whining... I need to do it indeed.
I dun really like myself right now, I know I should appreciate how much I have grown up. But where the fuck has my energy gone? feel like my life is going to the end. I really miss the days I had, days I have my energy to move myself closer to my rebellious dream.
Now I am still changing, I'm still moving myself, but my destination is no longer my primitive dream, it became my second thought. I hate having second thought, it is an evil insert negativities/restrictions to your positivities/possibilities.
Why should I believe that my first thought is idealistic? It is sad, and I also have learnt to get real. I have learnt to insist my thought and make my primary/ raw dream possible.
I still remember when I was talking to my friend about life, he said "fay, you are way too idealistic, life isn't simple. afterall you still have to go out get a job and money would be the only thing you want once you get into the society"
What he said really fucking scares me, because I know it could be true, it is possible to be contaminated by reality. (should I put comtaminated?) People in Hong Kong are very realistic I can tell you, Australia indeed gives many chances to the kids, they should be happy about that.
I wish to change, that we don't have to live with the fact that we have to get real, but let the dreams get real. Of course, not all the dreams can become true, not because they are impossible, but it's just not possible at the moment, we need to let the technologies grow. (e.g. GM engineering may able to make a pair of wings on your back, I bet heaps people have dreamt about it, but it's all about time and our guts.)
The matter is about "how idealistic can the fact be?"
I really don't like commericalisation under capitalism, where dreams and realities have all polluted by materialism. They have not only kill the potential of dream and reality, but also the opportunities for the kids.
Think about this, a 11yo kid said "I wanna be an artist", OK! Most of the parents will come up now and say "you are soooo materialism" or "get real! get a PROPER job!" or "stop dreaming, artist can't make money"...etc. This is fucking sad, I can't say they are wrong though, but why not give them a chance? Give them a proper education of art in a proper art institution for god sake.
I think it is pathetic to see someone doing their job that ain't what they dream to do. So many people I have seen, they all study commerce, business and accounting just because their parents ask them to. At first, they were so proud and went to me "one day you will see me working in a big company, and art students like you may probably end up at macdonald" (with their joking tone.) Then, I started seeing their long face and whines "this is boring, I wish to get out of this as soon as possible." Finally they graduated, some realised that too many accountant competitors, compromised as a clerk; some got a nicee job, but still with their long face and go "Bloody stressful, bloody boring, bloody politics... How long can I stand with this?"
When your parents said studying business is good for you, have you really thought about it?
You may said it's easy to talk, reality is still cruel.
Dude, nothing starts easy, but when there's no survive of dream, you will regret, you absolutely will.
Let go of the reality, get real for the dream.
For the sake of the future, for the sake of yourself.
Free yourself, do not give up your talent.
P.S. I miss my bibi and shortie.
[[audio: Taking Back Sunday - Ghost Man On Third]]
