Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Shutting from the sky, fallen into Claustrophobia
Uni result was out today, it's all good but couple of them I could get a higher grade if I have 2 more extra marks... *sigh* oh well! At least I have one less thing to worry about... One more semester then I'm done, and I started worrying if I could handle the last semester or not, then I worry what I'm gonna do after I finished, more and more...
This morning I have some uni friends called me about the result, couple of them fucked up and cried like hell. I have never fail any subject after I got into uni, which I'm quite worried that I may have this problem in the coming semester. I'm always good at helping friend get through all these terrible time, I hope I could handle myself if shit like this happen... I have promised a friend to go see the cultural studies headquarter with her tomorrow morning, I totally understand how she felt, just like me in high school fucked up my exam, family was upset and no one to talk to, it hurts.
I am not having a good feeling, friends said I am over-stressed, but I couldn't reject anything inside my head and not to worry them. Right now what aching my heart is my grandma, I got a called from my mom few days ago saying my grandma was in hospital doing "body check". Of coz it's not a "body check", I'm not that stupid... usually if that's a body check, my mom would call me after she's out of hospital. I wasn't too worry coz I have spoken to my grandma and she sounds quite alright, and I talked to my aunt, I could tell from her that this is not a simple bodycheck...
Yesterday, I got another aunt sending me an email about my grandma in the hospital, but no one telling me what's wrong with her, just body checking and waiting for some more test. Then I started panic, I rarely got email from this aunt, and when I heard the phase "some more test", this is not a good sign.
I hate people not telling me what's going on lest they may hurt my feelings, it's actually horrible... think about this, I have to suffer not knowing the truth and take the fact after something worse happened (if that's not getting better), it's like double my pains. I couldn't stand with people hiding the truth, whatever the intention is, It just paranoid me. People should realise that hiding the truth is equal to not being honest, and I have no respect to that.
last week, I picked up my pencil again, did I mention I used to draw comics for my high school magazine? heh heh... Not many friend in Australia know about it, but yea... I was quite good at sketching manga, it's my raw talent, something I haven't never learn from nowhere. Anyway, I was asked to draw a portrait, thank god my skill didn't get rusty, but my portrait scared me, coz the more I look at it, the more it depress me. Today I re-drew it, well... can't say re-drew, maybe modified. A little bit touch on the portrait, all in the sudden, this depressive picture became something delightful. Hmm... I hope my problems could be like this too.
A VERY BIG NEWS: I'LL BE ALLNIGHTER PRESENTER WEDNESDAY-THURSDAY 3-6AM. IF U AIN'T SLEEPING, LISTEN TO ME! (I work on Wed 12-4pm, then head back to studio 12-6, can u imagine this? gosh!)
[[audio: The Null Set - All Day Sucker]]
Uni result was out today, it's all good but couple of them I could get a higher grade if I have 2 more extra marks... *sigh* oh well! At least I have one less thing to worry about... One more semester then I'm done, and I started worrying if I could handle the last semester or not, then I worry what I'm gonna do after I finished, more and more...
This morning I have some uni friends called me about the result, couple of them fucked up and cried like hell. I have never fail any subject after I got into uni, which I'm quite worried that I may have this problem in the coming semester. I'm always good at helping friend get through all these terrible time, I hope I could handle myself if shit like this happen... I have promised a friend to go see the cultural studies headquarter with her tomorrow morning, I totally understand how she felt, just like me in high school fucked up my exam, family was upset and no one to talk to, it hurts.
I am not having a good feeling, friends said I am over-stressed, but I couldn't reject anything inside my head and not to worry them. Right now what aching my heart is my grandma, I got a called from my mom few days ago saying my grandma was in hospital doing "body check". Of coz it's not a "body check", I'm not that stupid... usually if that's a body check, my mom would call me after she's out of hospital. I wasn't too worry coz I have spoken to my grandma and she sounds quite alright, and I talked to my aunt, I could tell from her that this is not a simple bodycheck...
Yesterday, I got another aunt sending me an email about my grandma in the hospital, but no one telling me what's wrong with her, just body checking and waiting for some more test. Then I started panic, I rarely got email from this aunt, and when I heard the phase "some more test", this is not a good sign.
I hate people not telling me what's going on lest they may hurt my feelings, it's actually horrible... think about this, I have to suffer not knowing the truth and take the fact after something worse happened (if that's not getting better), it's like double my pains. I couldn't stand with people hiding the truth, whatever the intention is, It just paranoid me. People should realise that hiding the truth is equal to not being honest, and I have no respect to that.
last week, I picked up my pencil again, did I mention I used to draw comics for my high school magazine? heh heh... Not many friend in Australia know about it, but yea... I was quite good at sketching manga, it's my raw talent, something I haven't never learn from nowhere. Anyway, I was asked to draw a portrait, thank god my skill didn't get rusty, but my portrait scared me, coz the more I look at it, the more it depress me. Today I re-drew it, well... can't say re-drew, maybe modified. A little bit touch on the portrait, all in the sudden, this depressive picture became something delightful. Hmm... I hope my problems could be like this too.
A VERY BIG NEWS: I'LL BE ALLNIGHTER PRESENTER WEDNESDAY-THURSDAY 3-6AM. IF U AIN'T SLEEPING, LISTEN TO ME! (I work on Wed 12-4pm, then head back to studio 12-6, can u imagine this? gosh!)
[[audio: The Null Set - All Day Sucker]]
