Saturday, May 08, 2004
...Let out your unconscious...
Recently, my evil side is growing inevitably bigger and bigger inside of me, this evil is coming to against me. It trys to build up my ego and develop it to a super cynic, again. I hate it, I hate losing trust and belief in people, a subject that I hate and love simultanously. I be very nice to the people that I like, and I want to love someone who love me. But my inner evil always lead me to another world, it reveals people's ugly side to me, their dishonesty, conspiracy so and so... I am scared that I'll be totally brainwashed someday, coz my angel side doesn't really being helpful. My evil told me my angel side is just an illusion who made by me, convincing myself that the scene isn't that bad and hopeless, afterall it's just me self-convincing myself to fit in this society.
DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I'm not saying my friends are hypocrite, I seriously love them with all my heart. I never wanna judge people, not until I got betrayed and deceived. Then I just told myself, it's kool... maybe it's stupid, but at least I'm not the one who being a jackass...
I don't wanna become a cynic that detach myself from the world, and at the end i would probably be the one who hate myself. I can see this evil intention, but sometimes I wonder again... Is it the world or me who create this evil?
She said, "Regret is something I can never wipe away."
[[audio: Oris - Lost]]
Recently, my evil side is growing inevitably bigger and bigger inside of me, this evil is coming to against me. It trys to build up my ego and develop it to a super cynic, again. I hate it, I hate losing trust and belief in people, a subject that I hate and love simultanously. I be very nice to the people that I like, and I want to love someone who love me. But my inner evil always lead me to another world, it reveals people's ugly side to me, their dishonesty, conspiracy so and so... I am scared that I'll be totally brainwashed someday, coz my angel side doesn't really being helpful. My evil told me my angel side is just an illusion who made by me, convincing myself that the scene isn't that bad and hopeless, afterall it's just me self-convincing myself to fit in this society.
DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I'm not saying my friends are hypocrite, I seriously love them with all my heart. I never wanna judge people, not until I got betrayed and deceived. Then I just told myself, it's kool... maybe it's stupid, but at least I'm not the one who being a jackass...
I don't wanna become a cynic that detach myself from the world, and at the end i would probably be the one who hate myself. I can see this evil intention, but sometimes I wonder again... Is it the world or me who create this evil?
She said, "Regret is something I can never wipe away."
[[audio: Oris - Lost]]
